23 April 2015

January 30, 2015

BY Sarah Pang

"Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not." — James Joyce, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.

Today was mama's day. The mad stretch of work, travel, tournaments and trials oft leaves me missing from home. Today I finally carved out time to spend with the woman who loves me beyond herself.

I think too often as adults, we are so engrossed with stressful daily living, we forget our parents. Afterall, they are often easy to ignore. They stand quietly by the sidelines, watching us run. Are quick to fold into oblivion when we become preoccupied with the rage of what we chase. "Oh, she's been busy. Very busy," almost becomes the green card that licenses our failure to connect meaningfully with the people who love us most.

I myself have been guilty of texting while mum talks to me. Times I have tried to spend with her have turned aloof as I stayed preoccupied with the to-do lists in my head. I sit there in my mind. Not in the here and now.

I resolved not to do that today. As I accompanied her to her specialist appointment, everytime the doctors or staff tried speaking with me, I would smile and redirect them back to my mother, sitting in her wheelchair, straining to hear what we were discussing about her. It was a conscious choice not to go at the faster pace, but at a more deliberate one that included mum’s engagement and feedback. “Sorry, could I trouble you to repeat that again? I think you've gotta ask the boss what she'd like smile emoticon" 

It was about her. Not me.

The rest of mum's day was spent manouvering public transport together. Giggling on the bus. Having xiao long baos for lunch. Convincing her--despite her many Tsks!--to go for her first ever facial (yes I am very proud!!). As her smiling face glowed, we skipped out to Tiong Bahru for mee pok, then visited a new supermarket as the waining day dimmed.

It was all about the simple things. 

When was the last time your mum enjoyed your company? Today, I learnt how to savour and enjoy each moment with mine—knowing these will never be forever. What makes it even more grim is knowing this will be a tight year ahead, with much travelling on tour. 

I need to remember to stay connected with my loved ones, in ways that they understand. I encourage you to do the same with yours wink emoticon 

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